Pretty rad, right? Mr. Kichoo (That’s his real name) made sure his wedding would be remembered for a long time – pyrotechnics, the flower ropes and the fake WWE belt just to name a few of the arrangements. But as genuine WWE fans, it had us thinking – doesn’t Triple H have one of the dullest entrances for a major WWE superstar? So here is our list of potential WWE entrances which would vertical suplex Mr. Kichoo’s effort onto the squared circle. Yes, the internet just has to shit on everything and this is our turn.
The Undertaker
The most iconic entrance of them all. The dead man’s entrance would be perfect for pretty much anyone who wants to scare his in-laws shitless. A good variation would be carried to the ring in a purpose-built casket. Warning: should not be tried in superstitious households where brides run the risk of being called manhoos at the sight of their ‘supposedly’ dead husband.
The Rock
The entrance would work for two types of people: those so cocky and good looking that they can actually carry this off (0.0001 percent of Pakistani men) or those at the other end of the spectrum; you know, the goofy lookin’ dumb mofo. In any case, the Rock’s entrance makes a statement: you like to be at the center of attention and your in-laws should get used to bowing before the People’s Champion.
Goldberg
If you have a couple of friends with connections in the Punjab Police, you’ll want to try this one. It’s low budget but impactful: just a couple of pyrotechnics and a tough face. The only problem is you won’t want people to presume that you have only two moves – could be a real problem on Walima day.
Brock Lesnar
If the dood pilayi is making you nervous, this could be the entrance for you. All you have to do is put on a poker face and get a trash talking friend to speak for you a la Paul Heyman with your in-laws. This has the potential to be wedding video gold: “My client refuses to indulge in such unspeakable rituals…”
Chyna
Perfect for the guy pressured into marrying against his will because coming out of the closet would have probably gotten him lynched. Sends mixed signals to in-laws just so they don’t have high expectations for the future. “Salam beta, when can we expect to hold our grandson’s hands?” You: “Didn’t you see my wedding entrance?”
